My Osuchi and Mesuchi Diary
May 1st
Today was supposed to be a fun, relaxing day... I was to finish up my costume for the Spring Fling Thing, buy some of Bonne Bell's Gold Shimmer and possibly some other company's gold body glitter, and then I was to go off to the university to meet a friend so that we could mate our tams, and so that he could help me put on my costume.
The main problem was that I spent too much time sleeping, reading e-mail, and checking alt.toys.transformers, trying to see if anyone had responded to my request for a screen capture of a certain Beast Wars character. Then I took so long in sewing shut, then sewing on to a black turtleneck my four extra limbs. For you see, spurred on by an innocent comment made by above-mentioned friend, I had decided to go as...
BLACK ARACHNIA FROM BEAST WARS! (aka "Beasties" on Canada's Youth channel, YTV, due to some broadcast standard that says a kiddie show can't have the word "war" in it. Presumably the SF classic "War of the Worlds" will be renamed "Unpleasant Diplomatic Breakdown of the Worlds".)
I actually dislike Black Arachnia quite intensely, partially because she's supposed to look Asian, but mostly because I'm sick and tired of shows in which you have the Good Girl (slightly sarcastic, acts independent, yet always manages to get in a situation where The Guys have to rush in and rescue her) and the Bad Girl (very sarcastic, scheming and devious, seductive and beautiful and acts like a person of Negotiable Affection). A lot of my acquaintances know this already, so I thought it would be a good joke to go as the last person they'd expect me to go as.
Since there was a broad fantasy theme, I billed myself as a Male Fantasy Creature. My full title was Battle Ravaged Black Arachnia ("Product may not be exactly as shown") to explain away why I was missing a golden chestplate, head crest, and shin guards, as well as at least 4 arm/guns. I also spent a lot of time creating a little stats sheet like you find on the back of packages, complete with ("Beautiful and devious, the Evil Predacon Black Arachnia (tm) plots to overthrow her leader, Megatron... Strength: 4, Intelligence: 8, Cleavage: 10, Waistline: 1, etc).
Thanks to all this, I ended up being about an hour late to the party. After saying hi to one and all and passing around my stats (a lot of people didn't get the costume), my friend with the Osuchi and I got around to the essential business of mating... only to discover that we couldn't.
Perhaps it was all the alcohol in the air. They do say that strong drink is a mocker of men, and presumably the same applies to Male Tams. But, although they would dance about in excitement when their mate icons were pressed, when we linked them together and pressed the Osuchi's A or B button... nothing would happen. Watusi would go back to his sidling across the screen, while poor Becca continued dancing and prancing eagerly. We tried at least 3 times that evening, and each time it failed.
We also noticed that Watusi's beeping sounded curiously sluggish, just as it had before the batteries died. Rather odd, since Becca has been running on the same battery since January...
They both ended up going to bed with poops by their side.
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