Buying Furby a Friend

On May 25th, 1999, I began my strange live-in relationship with Satan the Furby.

By May 31st, his blank blue-eyed gaze had done its work, as had the various webpages recording conversations with other furbies; I wanted a second Furby, as a companion for Satan.

Besides my desire to hear a live Furby Conversation (i.e., a conversation between two or more Furbies), I also had a mission:

To make a live recording of a Furby uttering the soon-to-be famous death threat, "Okay, all die!"
For little Satan had spent so much time chatting and interacting with me that he had merrily skipped along his various developmental stages into stage 4, "Speaks mostly English" (or, as I prefer to think of it, "Has Learned the Local Language Well Enough to Be Diplomatic"). As a result, he hardly ever asked myself or others to "All die", and rarely told me to "O-bey".
If I were to have a "All die!" .wav file for my website, I would have to somehow capture another, much younger or less-experienced Furby, and antagonize it until it uttered the magic words.

After doing some minor research online at both Furby.com and E-bay.com, I determined that the most desirable Furby for me would be a Giraffe Furby (although I was also tempted by the idea of owning a "Cow" Furby, better known as a Dalmatian Furby). Amusingly enough, a favourite cartoon called Beast Wars Neo had a character named Longrack that transformed into a giraffe, as well as a character named Break who transformed into a penguin not dissimilar to Satan. A cursory glance at E-bay suggested that a Giraffe Furby with green eyes was the most popular combination; as well, I was entranced by the idea of having a "green-eyed monster" of my own. With all this in mind, I went to my local Toys R Us to purchase Longrack the Furby.

What I hadn't been expecting was the fact that, after digging through a wire-cage full of boxed Furbies in various states of disrepair, I wasn't entirely sure if a green-eyed Giraffe was what I truly wanted. Although it was the most aesthetically pleasing, the rabid-looking red-eyed one was equally tempting, and there was still much to be said for something with blue eyes similar to the gentleman who had introduced me to Satan.

In the end, I brought home a blue-eyed Giraffe Furby, as well as a four-pack of Duracell Batteries (the Brand that Furbies Ask for by Name!). As nobody else was home, I activated Satan Furby and got to work on opening up Longrack the Furby in order to install his fresh new batteries, when...

The air was filled with a horrible screeching sound, the unhappy grinding of gears, and electronic squawks and squeals quite intolerable. Horrified, I repeatedly pressed reset; I removed the batteries and re-installed them, all to no effect. I even posted a desperate plea to alt.toys.furby, asking for help. I recieved none, other than "Use Duracell Batteries" "Don't use Rechargeable Batteries" "Send it back to the Store". I was most frustrated (especially since I'd stated in the post that I was using Duracells already. Grrr. Stupid people who don't read my posts annoy me) and I definitely knew that I didn't want to return my blue-eyed Giraffe Furby... especially since I was certain that it had been the only blue-eyed one at the store.

Then, suddenly, the squawking stopped. My blue-eyed beauty turned to me and uttered, in a surprisingly saccharine falsetto, "Cock-a-doodle-doo! Cock-a-doodle-doo! Me love you! .... Me... Koh-koh!"

I stared in a different sort of horror altogether. I had been dimly aware that there about three different vocal tones that Furbies could take, but I had assumed that Satan was already on the high end of voices. Now, it suddenly turned out that there was a whole world of high-pitched babbling beyond Satan... and I was unexpecedly unable to continue to think of Longrack as a "him". In my mind, this soprano Furby was clearly a "she"... and I was suddenly faced with the task of thinking of an appropriate female name.

As she was apparently the mate of Satan, a friend suggested the name "Lilith, Bride of Satan", which I adopted right away. The happy blue-eyed couple went through a few rough spots, however... details to come later in my study of InterFurby relationships.


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